I often wonder, on my forays outside, why are all these people reproducing? Don't they fucking get it? What are these kids going to have to grow up to? Unless they can create domed cities, these kids are going to be wearing SPF 50 every day just to go outside at the rate we are tearing this environment of ours to hell. What are they going to run their cars on? Hopefully something other than oil which is running out rather quickly. Oh and another thing, to all the New York parents, just because you have a kid in a stroller doesn't give you the right to take up the whole damn sidewalk, I basically have to dodge these things everywhere. Another issue, if your going to have a kid, can you at least raise the damn thing, I find it so amusing to see all these kids in the park near me with their nanny's raising them. Maybe they are better off, my parents didn't do such a great job with me, well they sort of did, at least my mom anyway. I never had a nanny though, I was a latch key kid, I think that term is not used much anymore, I had to come home from school and take care of my sister, which entailed making her a glass of chocolate milk and parking her ass in front of cartoons for three hours until mom and dad came home.
I digress sorry, back to the stroller moms. What is their deal? Do they really think they are more important becuase they have reproduced? Because they have decided to clog up this world with their spawn? Because they think they are special because oh your fallopian tubes work, and your husband can get it up long enough to impregnate your fat ass? Ok sorry if this is getting overly rude and negative but i'm sorry, you don't know the shit I have to go through and see everywhere I go. It's like there's some kind of race, how many kids can I have, and not even wait. Lets have a newborn and get pregnant 9 months to the day later, in fact, let me pop the kid out and two weeks later get pregnant again. My best friend has four kids now and he doesn't seem like a happy camper, so I ask what's the attraction?
Well maybe America should have the one child rule too, most parents don't even have the time to spend with the damn kids anyway, so why bother? That's my ruling.
New York mom's, please try to share the sidewalk, with your high tech strollers and people. Yes be proud your womb is functional by all means but let me have my room too, I don't need to see your drooling, mewling, crying baby taking up all my space.
An update on the bike path that runs along the hudson river. It is not impossible to ride on a weekend as I said. I have given up and now only ride during the week, this is possible because i'm unemployed and have not been able to find any type of work, even something that pays as little as 10 dollars an hour, Thanks President Bush, great job on the economy and everything else, can you manage to do one fucking thing right? I suppose he will leave office on time correctly so we can say he did one damn thing right at least. So I rode today on the path in the 94 degree heat, which was rough but I enjoy self torture so it worked out. It's nice seeing the tourists baking on the hot city streets. What else to say? I am sitting home blogging on a friday night. I guess I could go out but part of me doesn't want to blow all the cash at some bar, where I probably won't meet anyone interesting and i'll just come home drunk and bummed out. I can at least save the cash and be bummed out and save the hangover.
I wanted to also give you people another warning about walking around in the city. I can't stress this enough, you have to look both ways when you cross and then again. Cars and bikes come at all angles here. I have seen some people hit before and I have actually been hit by a car myself so watch out, this too can happen to you.
You must look up in the city but also down, if you don't look down your going to step in some unfortunate mess trust me. So you have to look down, up, left, right and in front of you, so your going to be pretty busy looking all over the place. Don't forget to check out the hot girls and guys if you see them too. Just don't let your spouse or significant other see, me and mine have a rule, I can look, she often looks too and comments on women and men. I just check the women. I can look I just can't hit on or touch, i'm working on the last two i'll wear her down haha.
Well, the city is in the grip of a heat wave, well everyone goes crazy but it's just 94 today, par for the course in summertime. I will write back with my next rant or rave soon and i'll give some more of my best of and also worst of lists coming soon. Peace to everyone and stay cool.
Friday, July 18, 2008
THE QUIET FRUIT (A POEM)
THE QUIET FRUIT
Crimson beckons from the fruit.
Creation.
This barren place we call the aqueduct.
Where the dreams and detritus of life have pooled.
Shattered and broken.
Tormented by possibility.
Shielded by a life full of want.
Dreams die and fly with time.
Life goes along by rhythm and rhyme.
The will has power over all.
Death in the end sublime.
The freeing force that comes to one and all.
Rich and poor all must fall.
In due time our imprint kept on the vellum of heavens wall.
Distinct and true we live and die.
Quiet and regret for those who don't try.
In those moments few, when choice is near.
When we rise and fall with deeds amid hope and fear.
Only at times end our minds dulled by age,
Is the souls vision truly clear.
The spirit left to rage.
Crimson beckons from the fruit.
Creation.
This barren place we call the aqueduct.
Where the dreams and detritus of life have pooled.
Shattered and broken.
Tormented by possibility.
Shielded by a life full of want.
Dreams die and fly with time.
Life goes along by rhythm and rhyme.
The will has power over all.
Death in the end sublime.
The freeing force that comes to one and all.
Rich and poor all must fall.
In due time our imprint kept on the vellum of heavens wall.
Distinct and true we live and die.
Quiet and regret for those who don't try.
In those moments few, when choice is near.
When we rise and fall with deeds amid hope and fear.
Only at times end our minds dulled by age,
Is the souls vision truly clear.
The spirit left to rage.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Tourists in New York City and other things that go bump in the day and night
There's one weird and strange thing about people coming to New York City, most of them at some point, will stand in the middle of the sidewalk, mouths agape staring up at something or other and blocking up the whole sidewalk. It's either this reaction or they have the map out that is about four feet long and they are trying to determine where they are. This is fine, we all get lost, but can you step to the side of the sidewalk so your not smack dab in the middle of the damn street?!? I guess not.
I know people get lost, shit, i've been plenty of places and got lost but I don't stand in the damn middle of the sidewalk like some putz. Ok sorry for the negativity, of course we love tourists here, we need them like any major city and tourist destination does but c'mon tourists learn how to read a map or ask directions. Most New Yorkers are pretty helpful. What is another thing to avoid when coming here as a tourist? HMMM. Well I would say all the hawkers trying to sell you crap from stupid pictures, to rides in those annoying bicycle buggy things and anyone trying to sell you basically anything that is to good to be true. Ok tourists have fun, come to our city, with your badly dressed selves and your euro dollars, we love you. At the rate they are buying up our Real estate, we will have to rename New York some European name like Newyorkchya, or New York Land or some such horror. If Bush has our way we will be drilling up every off short spot, spilling oil into our oceans and Florida will be a giant oil slick before long. Thank god his reign of nightmare is almost over, now all we have to hope for is that the public isn't stupid enough to elect MCcain president. Anyone who spent six years as a P.O.W. might be a hero but that doesn't mean he's sane or a good leader and I doubt he's either.
Moving on, This message goes out to any and all joggers and walkers and mothers with baby carriages that frequent the bike path that runs along the Hudson River by the West Side Highway. I enjoy riding my bike there, like many other New Yorkers, unfortunately due to construction the 2 lanes meant for bikers, runners and bladers are also populated by walkers, mothers with baby carriages, dog walkers and God knows who else. this is fine but realize that there are people whizzing up and down this lane and stay to the right as the signs every 25 feet or so say! Is this that hard? Are you so self involved that you can't simply stay to the right. If your a lone jogger are you that important that you have to run right in the middle of the two lanes? Making others have to go around you and risk a head on collission with oncoming bikers? I have taken to passing as close to these people on my bike as I can to scare them back to the right which doesn't work. The other groups that are annoying are the packs of runners that number two or more. They think because they have the numbers that gives them the right to take up the whole lane, this is wrong, stay to the right, I am a biker and I will run you over, well not really but it's nice to make them think I might. Putting the fear of God into people isn't always a bad thing. To the walkers who think it's cool to walk against the traffic. You are even dumber I think than the runners who take up the whole lane. Not only can't you follow direction, you wander along the path on your cellphone oblivious to the bikes, runners and bladers who's progress you are impeding. Get off your cellphone and wake up, walk along a sidewalk somewhere else your not even appreciating the view. If you hear someone yelling at you as they whiz by "Your on the wrong side of the path you moron!" that would be me, deal with it! To the bikers who wear the full gear, as if they were participating in stage six of the Tour De France, get over yourself, your usually some middle aged guy who doesn't have the body for this outfit and your going about 10 mph which isn't making you look good. The other type that wears this is the guy who is probably whizzing down the path going about 45mph and almost hitting everyone in his way. These guys are nuts and have a major deficiency somewhere in their Dna make up. I fall somewhere in between, I keep a good pace, don't wear the tight ass gear and I always stay to the right because I am respectful of other people's right to be on the path. My advice to you if you like to bike ride, avoid this path on weekends unless your an early riser, everyone and their granny is down there right now and it's not an enjoyable ride. Unfortunately for us natives, Bloomberg our putz of a mayor excuse my use of the word but i'm not a fan of his, has instituted a bike rental policy for Downtown New York, while this is great for the tourists in New York it is bad for us locals who like our path not to be full of tourists driving slow and who have no idea how to ride in this kind of place.
Ok I guess you must have had enough of my rantings, well one last thing, what the hell is going on in Tribeca lately? Every rich yuppie or out of towner who owns an apartment on the top floor has decided to build a house on their rooftops, I cannot tell you how many hours on Sunday I had to listen to the loudest drilling noise you can imagine because another rich asswipe had to build a 2000 square foot house on his private rooftop to impress his girlfriend with the fake hooters. Enough already, is their an end to this? I think not my friends, as usual the little man, the poor man and the man just trying to make it in this world gets crapped on. Maybe one day I will have my revenge and not build a roof top house, instead i'll buy in the caribbean or the Hamptons and laugh at my neighbors as I pull up in my Toyota Corrolla as his manservant waxes his Benz. Well I am going to sign off until my next rant or rave, stay cool and remember when in New York, look up and look down too and don't stand in the middle of the sidewalk map in hand, you will look like the obvious lost tourist. Peace and love.
I know people get lost, shit, i've been plenty of places and got lost but I don't stand in the damn middle of the sidewalk like some putz. Ok sorry for the negativity, of course we love tourists here, we need them like any major city and tourist destination does but c'mon tourists learn how to read a map or ask directions. Most New Yorkers are pretty helpful. What is another thing to avoid when coming here as a tourist? HMMM. Well I would say all the hawkers trying to sell you crap from stupid pictures, to rides in those annoying bicycle buggy things and anyone trying to sell you basically anything that is to good to be true. Ok tourists have fun, come to our city, with your badly dressed selves and your euro dollars, we love you. At the rate they are buying up our Real estate, we will have to rename New York some European name like Newyorkchya, or New York Land or some such horror. If Bush has our way we will be drilling up every off short spot, spilling oil into our oceans and Florida will be a giant oil slick before long. Thank god his reign of nightmare is almost over, now all we have to hope for is that the public isn't stupid enough to elect MCcain president. Anyone who spent six years as a P.O.W. might be a hero but that doesn't mean he's sane or a good leader and I doubt he's either.
Moving on, This message goes out to any and all joggers and walkers and mothers with baby carriages that frequent the bike path that runs along the Hudson River by the West Side Highway. I enjoy riding my bike there, like many other New Yorkers, unfortunately due to construction the 2 lanes meant for bikers, runners and bladers are also populated by walkers, mothers with baby carriages, dog walkers and God knows who else. this is fine but realize that there are people whizzing up and down this lane and stay to the right as the signs every 25 feet or so say! Is this that hard? Are you so self involved that you can't simply stay to the right. If your a lone jogger are you that important that you have to run right in the middle of the two lanes? Making others have to go around you and risk a head on collission with oncoming bikers? I have taken to passing as close to these people on my bike as I can to scare them back to the right which doesn't work. The other groups that are annoying are the packs of runners that number two or more. They think because they have the numbers that gives them the right to take up the whole lane, this is wrong, stay to the right, I am a biker and I will run you over, well not really but it's nice to make them think I might. Putting the fear of God into people isn't always a bad thing. To the walkers who think it's cool to walk against the traffic. You are even dumber I think than the runners who take up the whole lane. Not only can't you follow direction, you wander along the path on your cellphone oblivious to the bikes, runners and bladers who's progress you are impeding. Get off your cellphone and wake up, walk along a sidewalk somewhere else your not even appreciating the view. If you hear someone yelling at you as they whiz by "Your on the wrong side of the path you moron!" that would be me, deal with it! To the bikers who wear the full gear, as if they were participating in stage six of the Tour De France, get over yourself, your usually some middle aged guy who doesn't have the body for this outfit and your going about 10 mph which isn't making you look good. The other type that wears this is the guy who is probably whizzing down the path going about 45mph and almost hitting everyone in his way. These guys are nuts and have a major deficiency somewhere in their Dna make up. I fall somewhere in between, I keep a good pace, don't wear the tight ass gear and I always stay to the right because I am respectful of other people's right to be on the path. My advice to you if you like to bike ride, avoid this path on weekends unless your an early riser, everyone and their granny is down there right now and it's not an enjoyable ride. Unfortunately for us natives, Bloomberg our putz of a mayor excuse my use of the word but i'm not a fan of his, has instituted a bike rental policy for Downtown New York, while this is great for the tourists in New York it is bad for us locals who like our path not to be full of tourists driving slow and who have no idea how to ride in this kind of place.
Ok I guess you must have had enough of my rantings, well one last thing, what the hell is going on in Tribeca lately? Every rich yuppie or out of towner who owns an apartment on the top floor has decided to build a house on their rooftops, I cannot tell you how many hours on Sunday I had to listen to the loudest drilling noise you can imagine because another rich asswipe had to build a 2000 square foot house on his private rooftop to impress his girlfriend with the fake hooters. Enough already, is their an end to this? I think not my friends, as usual the little man, the poor man and the man just trying to make it in this world gets crapped on. Maybe one day I will have my revenge and not build a roof top house, instead i'll buy in the caribbean or the Hamptons and laugh at my neighbors as I pull up in my Toyota Corrolla as his manservant waxes his Benz. Well I am going to sign off until my next rant or rave, stay cool and remember when in New York, look up and look down too and don't stand in the middle of the sidewalk map in hand, you will look like the obvious lost tourist. Peace and love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
